Speaking to a person completely removed from your life is a very freeing thing. I always thought it would be, and then yesterday I finally spoke to a therapist. I have been bottling up all of my sadness, anger, depression, really every emotion because I did not want others around me to feel my pain. I took two steps into the room and immediately began crying. It was such a release. I just cannot believe I had waited this long to speak to a therapist. I do not even mean this long with my diagnosis, I mean this long in my life. To be in a comfortable environment where you can say whatever is on your mind, and not be judged, feels amazing. The advice your receive in return seems to also be bang on. Everyone should do it. Even if it is only once. Even if you think you have nothing to say. It is just an open release of your mind and you come out feeling lighter.
My first round with her she explained that she feels I am seeking a sense of normalcy. Yes. That is it exactly. All I want is for everyone to act and treat me as they normally would. It is such a simple request on my end, however I feel as if it may be tough for some. I do not know what it is like on “the other side”. I only know what it is like to have cancer, but to have a close friend with cancer, I am not sure how I would react. Could I treat them as if nothing was different? Maybe. I guess it is just like playing pretend when you were a child. It does not have to be everyday, but some days I would like to pretend as if cancer does not exist in my world.