This is taken out of Jerry Seinfeld’s book “Seinlanguage“, from 1993. It perfectly sums up exactly why most people are not even close to my level.
Yes Jerry, that is exactly what I did in the last 12 months – I didn’t die.
Also, for the people who say – “Oh, don’t remind me how old I am turning.”, “I have decided to be ____ forever, that was a good age.”, “Oh my gosh I stopped getting carded at the liquor store – This is horrible.”, “Ew I can’t believe I am turning ___.”
You people are also not on my level.
What did you accomplish from your last birthday to your next?
You renovated your kitchen.
You started a new job.
You cut out gluten. (Well except those three times you were drunk and ate pizza, but that doesn’t count.)
Myself? I told death to go fuck itself. That is why I am celebrating.
Each birthday to me is a huge milestone from this point on. It is another year I won. We should all think this way. There are so many terrible things out there that can take our precious lives at any moment. To make it another year is a major accomplishment. When we were young we could not wait to celebrate our birthday. All we wanted to do was be another year older. We said our age with pride. As the years pass everything changes. Asking someone’s age can be seen as an insult. In fact, most people lie about their age. They always strive to be younger. This should change. You should shout from the rooftop how many years you have survived on this planet. With so many things against you – you have made it. There are a countless number of people in this world that wish they could have lived to your age.
So I hold my head high and am proud to say I have made it to 29. I will always choose to celebrate my birthday.