I should be more fucked up. I mean seriously – what kind of a mind fuck is it to be told pretty much you are on deaths door, to all of the sudden having some surgeries, doing some chemo, and then being told – oh wait, never mind, maybe you will have some years ahead. I think I can attribute my sanity to the fact I have always been more focused on other things.

Before my first surgery, my mind was not thinking about my doctor pulling and poking at all of my organs, but was more focused on how many people would prefer a burger over a hot dog at my BBQ. In between my first and second surgery I was not caught up in the horror from the first, but more focused on making sure I was well enough to go to Arcade Fire back to back. During my chemo in the Fall I was not spending day in and day out with thoughts of if it was even working, but more on what course at the University of Toronto I should take in January.

Today my focus is still partly on my health (obviously), but more on my school, my upcoming trip (yep – I am all booked for Punta Cana 3 weeks after my last shot of chemo), and then I am already excited to go back to work (currently aiming for January 2016). All of these things and more, I believe, have contributed to keeping me from becoming a crazy person. I am rarely thinking about the now, but more times than not I am focusing on what is ahead. Do not misinterpret what I am saying here – I LIVE in the now. I do pretty much what I want day in and day out because it makes me happy. I am saying my mind however, is always racing with plans for the next big thing.




The energy you put out in the world is what you will receive back. I am a firm believer of this. Years ago I decided to change my life for the better when it came to positive energy. Any person in my life who was not adding value, or bringing a positive spirit, was more or less dumped. Why would I want to surround myself with anyone who did not make me feel good? Why should any of us? We have all had them though. Those people in our lives who just bring us down. I knew before but I clearly have a better sense now, that time is a precious thing. So why bother wasting your time and positive energy on people not worthy. At the end of the day it pays off two fold, trust me on this one. I am so thankful for all of the people who have shown their support throughout these past few months. Without it I would have been lost for sure.

When people have come into my life and really shown me how good they are inside, I have always done my best to try to maintain that relationship. Now, you can’t do it with everyone… but there are a few that even when I was super busy I found time once every few months for a coffee. That’s all it really takes. When you meet good people you just bond with, all you need is a coffee date every few months. Really not much time on either of your parts, but what you get out of it on the other side of that hour is amazing. You feel rejuvenated.